This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
