He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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