never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
