you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
