she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
