Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
