I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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