I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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