So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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