This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
