I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
