just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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