he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
