Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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