hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
