i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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