Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
