i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We left an ass print on the piano.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
