my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
tonight lets celebrate not being married
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
