So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
