The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
