Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
