Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
