I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
