Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
