is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
