Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
