why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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