So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
