She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
