she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My vagina just clenched in fear
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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