You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
