spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
