Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
