why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
