At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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