So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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