3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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