why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
