just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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