She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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