I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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