I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
