i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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