It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
