I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
