they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
