yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
