so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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