ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
sex in a hospital.. check
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
